Day ? ... Back in the saddle again.

Either this weekend or coming Monday I’ll be starting to post again.
With many distractions and other happenings I really had to step back and take a breather.
The more I blogged the further my hoped trip to Africa seemed to be!

Day 30.. Day 31.. etc etc.. each day went by and nothing really new surfaced so I found myself doing the humming and hawing .. Whining and complaining about the market.. moods up one moment and down the next…
all seemed to really depress me on how unstable my life really is.
I’m always just living one day to the next never knowing what to expect.
Sometimes things are crazy busy.. other times I’m wondering what to do next.
Really feeling too old for this sort of thing and it’s really hitting me hard lately.
I wanted to escape to Africa knowing that it could really change my life with what I could gain from something like that.
It can.. and someday will… if it’s meant to be.
Signs are showing me it’s not quite time and that perhaps I have to make a baby step adventure while getting myself in a more financially sound situation.
I’m liking this blog thing as sort of a journal in my life for some that seem interested.
I wonder is anyone really reading this thing.. ? !
Then I get really wonderful emails and come across people on a regular basis that say.. “hey Steve.. been reading your blog.. Interesting stuff.. keep it up”
Random people.. random places. (Thank you to those that do)
I sincerely hope that I can amount to something grander as I’ve started this blog as to not disappoint "followers".
I’m honoured that anyone really cares enough to show interest.
I’d invite you to follow up with me and let me know where you’re from, how you found me and offer critiques on what/how I write or at least check off "reactions" below posts.
With hopes to improve on a big weakness in writing and written communication.. I believe this could truly benefit me in the long run.
I do hope I have a wonderful story to tell all in all… with a climatic accomplishment to make it all worth while.
I’ve done a lot of neat things but still don’t feel anything spectacular that makes for a good conclusion of a chapter in my life. I’ll use chapter because I’d hate to think the conclusion is at the end.. just a start to a new journey!
I also need to stop letting miserable people get me down. I do not understand why I meet such tremendous friction and opposition in my field but I find it very .. hmm.. hurtful I guess.
Can’t think of a better word.. and I feel pretty stupid and child like when I allow myself to feel damaged by such.
Perhaps it’s a life long battle to prove myself through some sort of inferiority complex.
It’s a given with the kinda crap I was subjected to as a child.
My biological father was a photographer yet to this day has never once said anything good about my photography.
I sorta blew up on him our “last” conversation a couple years ago and said” why can’t you ever say anything nice?” reply: “I would if there was anything nice to say”
My chalk art… My mom seemed quite embarrassed that I was doing it and wouldn’t even stop to look at a piece I finished while she was in town.
“I don’t know why you’re doing that and not something more constructive”.
LOL
oh man..
I certainly wasn’t perfect and made a lot of serious mistakes in life… but when you’re subjected to such negative suggestion .. it’s hard to rise out positive.
I have to jet and get some stuff done.
Sorry for just disappearing..
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