Day 13 - To BE or not to be. It's not a question.

(click pics for larger versions and see below todays post for image discriptions)

It’s all about attitude!
I find I was often drifting into a negative mentality when it came to market issues.
I do find writing this blog helping that because I can at least vent.
Most people just don't want to hear about it.
The ones harming the market don't really care and the ones in it are all experiencing the harm themselves and don't want to hear someone elses complaining! lol
I used to share by beefs on certain flickr forums (before quiting them all) or on my facebook page but i felt I was being toxic to even myself. I just really needed to vent. The attempts of developing awaerness was just futile and like a single warrior fighting with stcks VS an army of charging berserkers.
I guess I personally find it difficult when all fields I’ve chosen to pursue for a career have been cheapened by technology. And it just gets worse as that technology gets more and more affordable for everyone.
I really don’t mean to sound bitter and as a chronic complainer about markets.
It’s just really difficult to deal with having to change my field of occupation and specialize in something else. I’ve tried to drop my .. hmm .. how shall i call it.. ? my skill in a given field and adapt the technology but as an artist I hated it! I hate what it did to the areas that once required gift, skill, creativity and ability. And while you drop a part of your special abilities to “go with the times” you’re soul gets numb. As the technology cheapens it makes you feel even more defeated because everyone can do the same thing.
Let me give you an example.
While photography has been at my core since before high school.. I used to do a lot of  illustration work.
I can draw photo realistic images of anything. This was at the dawn of Mac 2 and desktop publishing.

The moment a technology offers competition to a given art... It usually overwhelms that art and renders it basically archaic within one or 2 years. Agencies would not accept freehand art, as clip art libraries grew, because it would have to be scanned etc. The only field that seemed to outlast all in the freehand drawing was anime. And well you know every kid on the planet draws anime now.

So... I get into custom paint/airbrushing and wall murals and freehand signage.... soon to come obsolete to vinyl plotters and large format printing.
I did sandblasting/glass carving (high end corp incentive products) ... or decorative windows and glass .. soon to be eliminated by laser etching and silk screening.

I even took a course in studio sound production thinking I’d get into production and management of various talents... But the home studio and cheap software has really put a dent in that market too.

Fortunately I lost interest in that real fast before investing too much time in it.
Of course I know that one can develop skill in all the fore mentioned technologies.. and I did..
But going from the core ability in a chosen field to competing with a saturated and completely devalued industry is like jumping from a grounded big ship to a flashy looking paper boat. I’ve come to understand that if you give up yourself and your special ability/s adapt to something that isn’t real just for the sake of survival, I believe you forfeit a part of your soul.
Eventually that market will fail you.
So, yet again, I face this situation at one of my core loves.. photography.
I’ve seen where my greatest rewards have been as a photographer and that’s when I’m in an opportunity and/or place of special access but come up with something outside of what’s expected.
This is where technology cannot compete with you.
You’re in a place of solitude and challenge to illustrate what you’re made of.
This combination of the above is where one can hang on to his/her art and still shine through if they have what it takes. There also needs to be an ability in finding those places!
I found one of the places of great potential is this Africa opportunity, and it’s unusual access I could have on top of that.
I wonder if reader really understands why I really need to/have to go and why I’m going to such extent?
I'm tired. I've spent my life trying to prove myself and I long to settle down with my art and find a happy place to do my thing. I need to find the sense of my life in discovering this special place!
So many skills, blessings and talents.. and I feel so far away from where I should be and what I could be doing!

1.) Complete motor cycle custom paint job. Stripped/blasted and refinished with a custom colour coated with a tri-coat pearl clear and phantom flame.

2.) 6' air brushed wall mural

3.) Freehand engraving on vehicle window using a special air driven tool that spins diamond/carbide tips as fine as a fine tipped marker at 400,000 rpms. I traveled all over the place in Canada and US to custom car/truck and bike events offering this service as a vendor.

4.) Sand carved crystal mugs as awards for the Ottawa Senators. They were a big client and I did several interesting projects for them. This is one of the fairly basic designs of much more elaborate/detailed. My pieces were sent to clients all over the world and can even still be seen today in  the Etobicoke Sports Hall of Fame. One is an award for Paul Henderson.Most sincerely... Steve GB
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