Signs I’m going to fast, signs I’m going to slow.
Sometimes there’s warning of bumps ahead.. other times the road is collapsed and there’s need of a detour.
I could go on and on but find many of the signs are contradicting each other.
It’s quite confusing.
It seems there are so much more of the signs reminding me of the reality and the obvious, then the signs of promise and hope ahead.
The signs of hope and promise just seem to show at a point of defeat and exhaustion.
I think the fact that those signs show up are the biggest signs of all. To clarify.. it’s not "just" the important message they deliver, but the fact that they are even there in 1st place. Like some sort of subliminal whisper.
If they never show at all.. I think that’s when we have to question whether or not we’re on the right path. I’ve had some really amazing, encouraging, inspiring support all of which I’m so thankful for!
After a few days of heavy struggle I get yet another wonderful word of encouragement last night.
An email from friend Bruce Kirkby. I know of NO OTHER on this planet that knows what I’m trying to do more than this guy. (a link on right goes to his site)
A family man..photographer, adventurer, Host of TV show ‘No opportunity wasted’ and author of 2 amazing books!
His note seriously almost brought me to tears because I’ve just been feeling really at odds with myself.
I am a big dreamer and I mean well in everything I do… but I do have responsibilities.
The balance of those responsibilities and my percent of focus towards this trip need critical examination.
I think that’s where my struggles are coming from.
I want and need this trip.. but I also need to take care of things here too… that’s obvious.
The signs are telling me I’m going to fast.. There is hope and it’s ok to keep moving forward..
but RELAX! It will come… just not expense of anything else that needs attention 1st.
Ok I know this is all a given… I did have plans to tend to responsibilities.. but signs are telling me I need to do it more! Simple.
I like it this way… It’s like experience itself is conditioning me and preparing me for something real and healthy. So I can make this trip and it’s wholesome.
I know I’m possibly sounding new age-ish with all this signs stuff… but "I" know what I’m talking about and I’m understanding more what the signs and the contradictions are all about.
They are the differences between wants and needs.
The biggest need is take care of responsibilities FIRST… BUT the “key” factor is in surplus!
I’m getting to like this blogging thing more and more.
I can get lost in my own thoughts keeping them in my head… but this way I can be nurtured, encouraged, beaten on, judged, supported etc…
But all in all.. and very important…. TESTED
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