Day 25 - He could run like a tiger... anywhere

Another day closer.

Canada Day is 2 days away.. and I’m still not sure what to do!
Have to do well by my choice!
I don’t get why this is stressing me out so much.
I used to anticipate the fun stuff of Canada day and where we all were going to hang out.
I even enjoyed doing the afterhours street “raves” as I’d go crazy dancing in my wheelchair for hours.
(totally straight by the way.. just very entranced by the music).
The muscles in my arms would sure hurt like crazy the next day… even though I used to work out quite intensely every day.
I’d be dipping and spinning while doing wheelies as I tried to keep to the beat of the music.
It was funny people were videoing me or asking to have their pics taken with me… haha
I felt like one of those kids back in high school that had a crowd gather around as they pulled off all of John Travolta’s dance moves.
I used to freakn hate disco.. but man.. I wished I could dance.
I also loved photographing all the fun I saw people having on Canada Day.
Now though..? I’m so anxious about how I can generate healthy revenues to support myself!
Again .. with queen in town my biggest instincts are tugging at me to go for photo ops of a lifetime.
But times have changed so much the past couple of years that I know there will be 1000000 photos of her. Even with my potential access, and even if it is a unique capture, What will it constructively do for me?
It depresses me to feel defeated, as a photographer. I feel robbed of the joy and excitement I had (not that I am… it’s just how it feels), when I finally got the access I used to dream of getting, and managed to pull off interesting shots. Now everything is just so common.
Even unique angles, locations etc I’d show… sooner or later someone would go seek it out and try to do the same thing. There were often times I’d get emails and messages from others I didn’t even know asking me where I shot from, how I got there, and what my exif data (cam setting ) was.
welp...
As I write this.. it’s following a sleepless night as I tossed and turned bouncing between the idea of ultimate shoot location for Canada Day fireworks (along with whatever VIP photo ops I can capture) AND/OR what ultimate mural I should draw and where. Problem with the mural is, I have to fork out a minimum of 250 bux for a permit and I only have one day to get it all done! What if it rains? All is wasted!
Sigh…

Where is this love that will open the doors
Where is this love to make me cry out for more
Where is this love that comes from above
Where is this love?
.

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